Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Shorter Jonah Goldberg

Popping the left's Internet bubble

The conservatives will be back on top of the internet that Al Gore invented, hyuk hyuk.


Your occasional video

Finland pop chick slash forklift operator.

Hey... I like it.

Let's quote myself, shall we...

That would refer to the contraceptive, Plan B. The usual understanding is that it irritates the uterine lining, reducing the chances for implantation of a ball of cells. Turns out that this is wrong. It actually delays ovulation, which means there is no ball of cells to implant. And in an ironic twist, the research that determines that Plan B does not in fact reduce the chance for implantation was done at the Catholic University of Chile.

These new results should (and I emphasize "should") stop the anti-abortion crowd from waving bloody fetuses around with respect to Plan B. "Should", but won't, because propaganda comes easier than the truth for them.

That prediction turned out correct. The willfully ignorant GOP candidates are still pandering to their willfully ignorant conservative base by equating contraception with abortion. Research still says that hormonal contraception does not prevent an already fertilized egg from implanting, but why know better? There's votes to be had and contributions to be raised.

A two-fer for the Gucci Loafer

Mr. Too-Lazy-To-Say-He's-Campaigning is attacking Rudy Giuliani on his not-really-a-campaign-yet-so-stop-saying-that blog. Really tenuous connection, too. Apparently an activist judge (read: someone who doesn't adhere to the conservative position) in Brooklyn made a ruling on suing gun manufacturers similar to a ruling he had made while Giuliani was mayor, and this is a reason to attack... Giuliani.

See, conservatives don't even have to make sense when they attack each other.

Part 2 of the two-fer is the Gucci Loafer going to the old-standby boogeyman that conservatives are either afraid or too lazy to give up, the Bill Clinton card. It's apparently all Clinton's fault that we won so easily in Afghanistan that Shrub thought we could really stretch that military until it's almost breaking by going into Iraq for the past four years and Bush's inability to make any changes helps him to blame Clinton and...

Conservative logic. You don't have to follow it. You just have to do as they say.


Monday, August 20, 2007

Fun from Iowa

Marc Ambinder finds Fox reporting that the Gucci Loafer wore, well, Gucci loafers at the Iowa State Fair. However, many commenters say that Fox couldn't even get that right - they're really Ferragamos.


They write letters

Lane Hudson files an FEC complaint against the Gucci Loafer.

Michael Vick and his plea deal

Noted NFL foam duck Michael Vick has finally decided that all the people rolling over to testify against him weren't going to help him any, so he'll plead out. This got me thinking, how conflicted are conservative positions about this case?

On the one hand, the conservative position on animals is that man should be able to use and treat animals any way he wants to, because animals are our lessers. On the other hand, the conservative gets a chance to stick it to a prominent black guy.

What to do, what to do, what to do.


Way back in the old days when I was a chemistry major in college, I had to fulfill a social studies requirement for my B.S. (yeah I know the jokes. Ha ha.) degree, which I did by taking a sophomore level U.S. Congress course. One of the books the professor used was Showdown At Gucci Gulch by Alan Murray and Jeffrey Birnbaum to show how things really worked in Incongruous. Anyway, Gucci Gulch refers to the hall of lobbyists and their load of Gucci shoes outside the Capitol floor.

Fast forward to now.

Fred Thompson, while trying to paint himself as the ultimate outsider, was quite the lobbyist in Washington. Thompson is also known as someone who really didn't like his Senate job (caution: George Will) or campaigning, so he generally did nothing. Or as George Will put it,
"...is said to be less than a martyr to the work ethic..."
So when I read this thingum from Atrios about Hollywood Fred,

Running for president is also hard work, which is why all these fake potential candidates rarely come through. I'm also starting to doubt that Fred Thompson will actually make an honest run for the job. Whether gucci loafer Fred* is riding around in a golf cart because he's lazy, or (as is quite possible) because his illness doesn't exactly make him feel like a million bucks all the time, I do not know. Either way, running for preznit is hard work.

I thought of a new nickname for Hollywood Fred. Given his history as a lobbyist working Gucci Gulch and his lack of a work ethic, and because I'm meaner than Atrios is...

Fred Thompson, the Gucci Loafer.

You're welcome.


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